Valentine’s Day is coming up, which means you have most likely been bombarded with content about sexy outfits, and posts with titles like, “The Perfect Date Look” and “Sexy While Staying at Home”.

Dates definitely look different in the times of COVID. A date night that involves takeout or delivery with your partner usually translates to a more casual outfit, but you can absolutely use the upcoming holiday as an excuse to dress up. 

No matter what you decide to wear, I encourage you to put on something that makes you feel sexy. Valentine’s Day suggests dressing sexy for your partner, but I want you to dress sexy for yourself. If you feel sexy, you carry yourself differently. It’s the same with confidence. When you are feelin’ yourself, you strut. You are tapped into your sacral chakra, and that’s the chakra connected to your sexual energy. 

The messages we receive about sex appeal can be very conflicting with what actually resonates for us as individuals, and what makes us feel sexy. So, it’s important to be able to answer the question, what does your version of sexy look like? 

Maybe the conventional interpretations of sexy is exactly what feels aligned. I define the conventional sexy (based on the culture and media highlighted in the US) as “the less clothes the better”, the curve hugging, body highlighting, lace trimmed, transparent, touchable fabric, that allows you to embrace your femininity. 

But that interpretation of sexy isn’t for everyone, and that’s ok. If you don’t feel sexy wearing clothes or lingerie that fit that description, don’t wear it! Trust me. If you wear it, and it’s not you, your feeling of discomfort will be practically shouting at your partner. You won’t be able to strut. Instead, you’ll feel like you want to curl up into a ball and hide, because your solar plexus chakra will be freaking out. 

Why is it important to know what your unique sexy looks and feels like? If you’re trying to force someone else’s definition of sexy on yourself, it’s like you’re showing up as a different person. Wearing something that isn’t aligned with you is like lying about yourself on a dating profile. You’re not going to attract the right partner, if you’re not giving them the opportunity to learn and see the real you. 

Let’s start with asking yourself, what does sexy feel like? What have you worn in the past that made you feel sexy? What’s your favorite part of your body to highlight? There are no wrong answers, so journal about these questions or think about them, and see what comes up for you!

Sexy can look like anything, because it’s about how you feel. But “anything” can feel daunting, so let me give you some inspiration. Dressing sexy can be broken down into different categories.

Femme: lingerie, lace, dress, heels

Menswear: blazer, suit, button down shirt (maybe with nothing else on), 

Casual: t-shirts, athletic attire, underwear, sports jerseyFun: bathing suits, costumes, nothing

See which category feels exciting for you! You also don’t have to just choose one! Allow yourself to feel empowered and sexy at the same time. Play, have fun with it, and own your version of sexy.